I'll be dying in a cold
May 10, 2016
I’ll be dying in a cold
I’ll be dying in a cold
I repeat it again and again, word after word
Just to recognize that all of these things seem odd
I hope they could see me in distance
Though I know they want to keep me distant
I know it, I always do
No matter big and seemingly kind-hearted smile they give,
I know there’s nothing else they can do
To hide their irony to me
Maybe it’s just a play going on and on inside my troubled
mind
I dare myself to think clearly and I count to nine
Nothing happens but an explosion to my mind
My dearly, messed up mind
With a big brain and big head as a plus
I am hard as rock, my persistence is
Silly that’s the only thing I could cling onto
Since then I feel hungry
Longing for any logic things to eat in a hurry
Because my mind extremely needs it so that it doesn’t have
to worry
About the possibility of being died and buried
Nowhere but deep inside my empty head
I like it better when I’m off, lonely, and desperate
I could use my time whenever I want to hold on to my misery
While it costs me nothing to lose but good memory
Oh, and now I’m being melancholic
Since when I became, I wouldn’t event know,
How could it turn out so tragic?
Me and my mind, I mean
Remembering days by days I live with sin
If being honest and true is a sin
Being called as sinner doesn’t make my heart thin
Instead it grows fat – full of happiness within
It doesn’t matter that they left me coldly
Or gave me that irritating look boldly
Because as far as I can tell only God could love me truly
Novita Ratna Wulandari
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